Thoughts on life: Reincarnated!!

[landry38]

Yep, all those corny things that get you through your life can be placed here.




The first thought: A penny saved is a penny taken by the government.

[Aurorae]

Why Is this down at the bottom?

''An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind
--Mahatma Ghand''

[GILLY]

if you sprinkle while you tinkle be a sweetie wipe the seatey! :lol:...sorry

ok...here ya go:

It is better to be hated for what you are, Then to be loved for being something you are not-Andre Gide

[Plancii]

Why Is this down at the bottom?


Yeah, so stickied...oopps, i forgot im no moddie..
:D



"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Robin Williams. :rofl:

[landry38]

It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.

[Plancii]

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
~ Plancii :p (j/k)

[landry38]

The most you can do on any given day is to put yourself in a position to win, and fate will dictate the rest.
-Richard Petty

[Fat Freaky Man Jim]

dont pee into the wind

[GILLY]

dont eat yellow snow

[Plancii]

People will buy anything that is one to a customer. Sinclair Lewis (1885 - 1951)

[Massacure]

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

[Plancii]

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side. :D

[Yorkie]

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Ok maybe not a thought on life, but i wonder who figured it out, i have a ton more of these :D

[papsarmy]

After Wreck's thoughts of life and General thoughts of life........

reincarnated...... great!

sticky... :p

[J-Man]

I'll start with what was in my previous sig:
Choose heaven for the weather; Hell for the company.

And continue with:
Boredom is the mother of all invention.

[papsarmy]

Still...........


The best thought.... is Wrecks thought.......... :evil:


Hope he will post here as well............. :p

[Plancii]

Teh Papz is back...yepee



Thought: If you need free beer contact papz... :p

[Massacure]

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."
- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

[Wrecking Crew]

"It's hard enough being your age without having to act it"

[SW Freak]

If you have to lie about your age, do it in the other direction. Tell them you're nintey-two and they'll think you're lokking f***ing great.-Billy Conolly's thoughts on life.

[kwark]

It's not advised to read the messages printed on womens shirts
It's just stupid (or drunk) to touch the hands printed on womens shirts



not really a thought
it's an experience :cry:

[Plancii]

It's not advised to read the messages printed on womens shirts
It's just stupid (or drunk) to touch the hands printed on womens shirts

not really a thought
it's an experience :cry:


Reading messages printed on womens shirts is OK.
It's NOT stupid (nor drunk) to touch the hands printed on womens shirts.


Now it is a thought
it's my experience, i got slapped and went to prison. :cry:

[Massacure]

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

[Plancii]

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
-- Jack Benny :D

[MaXiMuZZZ]

Be who you are and say what you feel because people who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind
:rolleyes:

[landry38]

Almost only counts in hand grenades and thermonuclear war.

[Plancii]

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."- Ellen DeGeners.


"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?" - Paul Merton.

[MaXiMuZZZ]

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love

[SW Freak]

Have you ever been talking and you mix up your words. That happens alot to me. One time this guy was making really annoying sounds. I had asked him to stop but he wouldn't so I lost my temper and shouted "Fut the shuck up!" I don't think you need a translation.

[Plancii]

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

:p

[Massacure]

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."

- Plato (427-347 B.C.)

[Plancii]

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

[Massacure]

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

[Plancii]

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

[MaXiMuZZZ]

The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.

[SW Freak]

Passion, the maker of men,
The destroyer of civilisations,
It completes us, drives us,
Kills us, tortures us.
Passion, truely the sweetest thing on this world.

[MaXiMuZZZ]

often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do what they want, so they will be happier.
the way it actually work is the reverse. you first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

[Plancii]

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

:D

[Massacure]

This one is for ACK and Lynne:


"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."

- Isaac Asimov

[Plancii]

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
Soren Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855)

[MaXiMuZZZ]

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

[Plancii]

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.



FLASH!!!
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. :p

[papsarmy]

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

[Massacure]

It's better to shut up and be thought a idiot, than to open your mouth and prove it. :p

Someone posted this one before the crash, but I forgot who.

[Plancii]

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. :D

[papsarmy]

I dont understand why divorced people are often mad at eachother.
There's two options:

a)If you want the other one back, you won't get far with getting mad. Being nice gets you better chances.
b)If you don't want the other back, you shouldn't be mad either. Be happy
(s)he's gone..... :D

[Plancii]

"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven." -Spike Milligan.

[Massacure]

"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

[Plancii]

If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark. - Michael L. :p

[papsarmy]

"There's no shortage of pussy- it's just the delivery system that's messed up."

:p :rofl:

[Plancii]

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" :p

[smilodon]

The best safegaurd against tyranny is the free flow of information.
The best safegaurd against anarchy is the control of information.
"Democracy is the rule of the incompetant" -Plato

[SW Freak]

Sherlock and Watson were camping on night when Sherlock turns to Watson and says "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." So Watson looks up and says "Well, I see stars, which could well be other planets, but they are other planets then there's so many of them. And if there's so many of them then there may just be life on one of them." But Sherlock says "No you idiot, somone stole our tent!"

If I had a euro for every time I did something stupid, I'd be rich. If I had to give away a euro everytime I did something smart...hell, I'd still be rich.

[MaXiMuZZZ]

life is life! :rofl:

[SirSnake]

imagine if the moon were cheese? we get covered in the stuff whenever a meteorite stuck it :D

[Plancii]

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. :p

[smilodon]

Now matter how kind you are to your enemies they will always be your enemies, no matter how annoying you are to you friends they will still be your friends.

[SW Freak]

Now matter how kind you are to your enemies they will always be your enemies, no matter how annoying you are to you friends they will still be your friends.

Bulldung. If you're a prick to your friends then they will hate you.

[Wrecking Crew]

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson

Yep! 'ol WC is still alive but not kicking as hard :evil:

[Aurorae]

All animals are equal. Some are just more equal than others - George Orwell, (Nov 1943-Feb 44)

[SW Freak]

Whhy is it that whenever we have something important to say, we say it wrong?

[smilodon]

SW Freak what I said was true, at least from my experiences

[SW Freak]

Okay, sorry Smiley. You must have some great friends.

[Plancii]

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much :p

[smilodon]

no matter how good you are there is always someone better

[Plancii]

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

[papsarmy]

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
:rolleyes: :p :D

[smilodon]

Great minds thin alike, but fools never differ.

[Wrecking Crew]

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't
gone to sleep yet. :eek:

[Plancii]

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
:)

[Aurorae]

life isn't fair, it never was, the real question is how can we show our true colours and deal, not complain

[Plancii]

I dont know what true colors are. Look at my santa hat...<<<<

[Toxic10x]

Wasted time is often time well spent.

--a reflection on my weekend :)

[Wrecking Crew]

Don't grow old, there's no future in it :evil:

[smilodon]

Chinese fortune cookie:

You will have a better future if you have a little fun this weekend.

now put in bed after it

[GMP]

Every time you masturb8, a kitten dies. So think of the kitties!!

[Nyerguds]

Cats are vicious, cruel monsters in a cute disguise... and that's exactly why I love 'em! :D

[smilodon]

I guess ive killed a few hundred kittens then.

[GMP]

That's nothing!! Over 10,000 have died by my hands! :devil:

(pun intended)

[VO]

VOES thought on this life : I came to this topic to find something interesting, not accounts of various idiots jacking off. :mad:

[Artificial Idiot]

wow, good point vo. And no Sniper in sight :p

[Aurorae]

OmG teh bube!

I R teH MasTar Ba1ter!


Okay, I know Im good at fishing..... :p



Theres nothing wrong in with following the trend, as long as you don't become part of it ;)

[Toxic10x]

all those people who strive to be different look the same to me :p

-my grandpa

[Plancii]

Here's from my grandpa .. :p


"More and more of our imports are coming from overseas." - George W. B

[MooMan65]

Random Fact #74656: "Rhythms" is the longest English word without any official vowels in it.

[Wrecking Crew]

Random Fact #74656: "Rhythms" is the longest English word without any official vowels in it.
...which is why I practise the rhythm method.Its the longest. hehehe

[Wrecking Crew]

Never squat with your spurs on - Texan Proverb :)

[H4L-DeMoN5]

in my life before this i was a Llama :lol:

[Plancii]

in my life before this i was a Llama :lol:


:rofl: :moonie:

[Andra]

Wasted time is often time well spent.

--a reflection on my weekend :)
Bah, I can't remember that other quote about "get wated all the time and have the time of your life".

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

[tagbert]

Time is a waste of life, life is a waste of time, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life.

[NaZ]

Look at my sig- vvvvvvvvv

[smilodon]

Your life will be more productive if you have a little fun this weekend (in bed). from a fortune cookie, most fortune cookies are funny if you put in bed after them.

[Aurorae]

Bah, I can't remember that other quote about "get wated all the time and have the time of your life".

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.


If at first you dont succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.

[Plancii]

‘Good thing you’re not sitting here, because you’d be like, “Cheerleaders, sex, cheerleaders, sex, cheerleaders, sex!” I don’t know if you could handle that.’ (finely put by Nick Erikson)

[Freek]

Life's a b*tch.....






***** her!

[Toxic10x]

...and then you marry one ;)

[Aurorae]

Life sucks...Then you marry one who doesnt :p

[SW Freak]

Life's a bitch. And then you die. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE?!!

[sYcknYss]

"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Sir Winston Churchill

[Madcap_Magician]

Why is there Braille on drive-through ATM machines?

[Toxic10x]

If children are an expression of their parents love, I think I'd be a lot smaller :p

[papsarmy]

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I just beat people up
--Muhammad Ali

[Plancii]

Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
-- Joe Namath

[kwark]

Non Alcoholic beer is like a rubber free condom, the most important thing is missing

[sYcknYss]

If its not broken don't fix it

[Andra]

Someone should daub that in huge letters on the sides of EALA.

[sverkuijlen2000]

and some new additions by me (I actually thought these up myself*proud*)

-“Love is but a feeling, it is what people do with it which matters”

-"A person is like a gift, it doesn't matter how you wrap it up, whats inside is important"


And quote some other I found on the net(long live google :p )

-“Fear can hold you prisoner......hope can set you free”

-"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."

-"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."

-"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."

-"A relationship is like a rose, How long it lasts, no one knows; Love can erase an awful past, Love can be yours, you'll see at last; To feel that love, it makes you sigh, To have it leave, you'd rather die; You hope you've found that special rose, 'Cause you love and care for the one you chose."

-"Love builds bridges where there are none."

-"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."

-"Where there is love there is life."

-"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so."

-"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

-"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."

-"Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished."

-"The only abnormality is the incapacity to love."

-"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead."

-"The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live."

-"All life is an experiment."

-"It is not length of life, but depth of life."

-"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

-"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us."

-“For some life lasts a short while, but the memories it holds last forever.”

-"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

-"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."

-"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."

-"The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me."

-"You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions."

-"Make a habit of two things - to help, or at least, to do no harm."

-"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination."

-“Welcome anything that comes to you, but do not long for anything else."

-"I wish they would only take me as I am."

-"No one but you’re friends are listening until you make a mistake."

-"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."

(note I think you notice most quotes are from the same subject and yes I'm a big softy :p )

[General Kane Nash]

One of my favourite phrases is: "Concentrate your fire man!"
But my favourite one is this:
IF I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
And if I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to 1 be burned, but have not love, it profiteth me nothing.
Love suffereth long, and is king; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil;
rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth;
beareth 2 all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things


Hey man, I found this image:
http://www.cncsaga.com/plateformewot/interface/entete.jpg :D

[sYcknYss]

You cant talk about music... Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
-playing by heart

[Dr. Thrax]

Yep, all those corny things that get you through your life can be placed here.




The first thought: A penny saved is a penny taken by the government.


Better: A penny saved is a penny ripped right out of our pockets by those **** governmentmen.

[sverkuijlen2000]

Better: A penny saved is a penny ripped right out of our pockets by those **** governmentmen.

Ever noticed how it's a penny for you're thoughts and yet you put in you're two cents?
Someone is making a penny on the deal!!

(bet it's some goverment executive :p )

[Dr. Thrax]

True, true...

[Ta Hun Kwai]

Ever noticed how it's a penny for you're thoughts and yet you put in you're two cents?
Someone is making a penny on the deal!!

What does that mean? :dizzy:

[Andra]

You give me two cents for your opinion.
I give you a penny for your opinion.
I make a penny :p

[papsarmy]

I played a blank tape really loud, the mime next door went nuts.

[Toxic10x]

n1 paps :D


-Time and money: hard to come by, easy to waste.

[papsarmy]

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me..

[Freek]

China joins the 21st century:

"If a company sends you unwanted mail but you don't open you're mailbox, is it still spam?"

[sYcknYss]

Something is only impossible until it is not.

[Spider786]

please refer to my sig

\/ :D

[Dark_Knite]

Reffer sig V

[sYcknYss]

When it comes to freestyles...Im like a pigeon,

I only drop ***** when I get high :hyper:

[GMP]

Mary had a little lamb
who ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went up it's arse
and changed it's wool to nylon

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun J_t
Jill that dill, forgot her pill
and now they have a son

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All teh king's horse and all teh king's men
said "Screw him! It's just an egg!"

[papsarmy]

Homer Simpson:

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

:D

[Plancii]

Yes, please. I wanna have one..... :D

[Spider786]

i don't want one...........





gimme a few :D

[Freek]

Homer Simpson:

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

:D

"They come in Pints?"

[Andra]

Po-tay-toes!

[Toxic10x]

:D

- even u couldn't say no to that!

[Andra]

The quote isn't the same when it isn't capitalised. Stupid Den :(

[papsarmy]

Famous last quote:

" Ok, boys, end of athletic training. Get all the spears here right away."

[Ta Hun Kwai]

Famous last quote:

"Flammable means it doesn't flame. And don't worry, I read it in 'The Daily Spoof'."

[papsarmy]

More.........

" Not the pin, the granate!"

" I wonder where the mother of these cute little bears is..."

" This mushroom salde is great!"

" This parachute really looks like a backpack.."

:D

[Toxic10x]

my favorite last words:

"Hey guys! Watch this!" :D

[Plancii]

"Hey, do you need an ambulance?"

[Spider786]

pain is painful :(............


and on a easir note

famous last words : Ouch................

[papsarmy]

A to death convicted criminal with a bizarre taste of humor when he is placed on the electric chair.......

" Beam me up, Scotty!"

[Morph]

To resist is to piss into the wind; anyone who does ends up smelling.

[papsarmy]

Money is like fat. There is plenty of it but always in the wrong places.

[Plancii]

"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own." -
Les Dawson. :D

[SW Freak]

A sinner's soul.
Black as night,
Dark as fear,
Rife with chaos,
Punisment is near.

We are only what we are and we should not try to be that which we aren't.

When you know true love, you know true life.

Fear.
Spreading it's silent evil through the world.
Fear.
Holding us captive in our minds.
Fear.
Making us prisoners of ourselves.
Once we can escape our fears we will truly be free.

To see the world as it should be is the same as looking at the world through closed eyes.

Why?
Why do we torture the world?
Why do we wound the Earth?
Why do we sear the sky and poison the waters?
Why?

Just a few thoughts.

[Time2ki1l]

I like it freak, where'd you get all of that from?

[Toxic10x]

Much needless struggle has been caused by the uncomprismising adherence to a single ideology, when the real answer lies between two points of view.


:dizzy:

[SW Freak]

I like it freak, where'd you get all of that from?

I wrote them myself. I was feeling really cynical and philisophical at the time. Not to meantion down right depressing.

[Freek]

Taken from the Cobra tutorial on www.3dtotal.com, although it's about 3D it's probably recognisable to anybody who has a job:

Before we start, I'll explain a few terms that will crop up regularly and whilst neither technical nor software specific they will be invaluable to you all.

"Spare time" A very controversial subject and the definition of this will vary depending on which way you look at it. To the average 3D modeller it's any time you are not (even if you should be) doing anything else. To wives, girlfriends, partners, bosses etc it's the time you should probably be either talking to them, taking them out or doing what you are being paid to do.

"Slightly" again, differing definitions here. You, as the modeller fully understand the need for every little detail to be accurately modelled and textured to the nth degree whilst the casual onlooker may fail to grasp the importance of a photo realistic screw holding a hidden panel in place in the darkest corner of your scene. You would say it was "slightly" over the top. Other, less sensitive souls may say you are absolutely crazy

"In a minute" this is a specific amount time before you will be available and when your "spare time" will officially be over - of course the chance of you actually being "just a minute" is minimal whereas whomever you have given this information suddenly seems to have a more accurate understanding of time than an atomic clock. So you'd best try a different approach

"Ten minutes" this one's a good one, because if whatever you are being asked to do is urgent, the chance is they'll either do it themselves or get someone else to do it. You are off the hook and have some more "spare time"

"Soon" an unspecified length of time that is open to interpretation. In your opinion it's when you have finished what you are doing. In other peoples opinion it tends to be closer to a "minute" than "ten minutes" (best avoided)

"The wrong way" invariably the way you attempt to do anything the first ten times

"The right way" the way you really should do things and the way the process is described in the manual.

"The best way" not usually the right way but the way you decide works for you when you've got fed up of doing something the "wrong way"

"Easy" the way you describe the "right way" to people who ask how you did something neglecting to tell them that you did it the "best way"

"Unfinished project" Something you have been forced to abandon, Either because it has gone "slightly" wrong, you can't figure out the "best way" to do something, You haven't got enough "spare time" or someone else has completed a vastly superior version of an almost identical project and announced to the world it was "easy"

Please remember that all tutorials etc are written with the considerable benefit of hindsight. They seldom mention the number of times the author attempted to do things the "wrong way", the number of things that didn't really work but should have done when done the "right way", the sheer volume of un-documented workarounds that were used to arrive at the "best way" and just how much "spare time" was spent on the original project


:D

[Toxic10x]

good stuff freek :) I better do some of tehir tuts so I can learn to do this stuff teh right way :freek:

anyway, here's just a random observation that could be a thought on life- I've noticed that I am extremely creative late at night. Bits of poetry pop in to my head, beautiful music starts up all by itself, I draw better, I think clearly on philisophical issues- everything becomes more creatively charged in the wee hours.

[kwark]

Nice one freak (Y)

The teachers at school should take it in their lessons :rofl:

[papsarmy]

The best thing to make woman beautiful and attractive is man's fantasy....

[Plancii]

Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to be grateful. Phyllis McGinley

[kwark]

I do not get drunk quick....
I do get drunk quite often... :beer:

[Wrecking Crew]

Thought for today


Imagine the trepidation in the Papadopolus household every time its someones birthday or anniversary. "Why is that?" you say.

Beware Greeks bearing gifts

:evil:

[Wrecking Crew]

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
and some days you're the statue.

[Plancii]

The Truth of the matter is: I dont know what you mean. - Anonymous

[Spider786]

A truth told with bad Intention can beat all the lies you can ever Invent ~ William Blake

[Wesforce]

'You Americans have it the wrong way round - "It's better to live on your feet than die on your knees", not "better to die on your feet than live on your knees".'
- The Old Man in Catch-22

[General Kane Nash]

"Always is good not to be the most important character of burial" -General Kane Nash.


"great men are not made by the history, the history is made by great men" -General Kane Nash.

"Surrender is not an option for us, or for the enemy :evil: :evil: :evil:" -General Kane Nash

[Freek]

In case any New Yorkers were wondering why the Empire State building is orange, it's because of April 30st, it's "Koninginnedag" in The Netherlands, the day we celibrate the queens birthday and some rich dutch guy hired the building for a couple days to have orange lights, also in tribute of the queen mother (Juliana) who passed away recently.
You think i'm making this up, right? But it was on the news over here.
:D
http://www.esbnyc.com/tourism/tourism_lightingschedule.cfm

edit: woops this was suppose to go in the Toxic Waste Dump, well it's kinda filosophical. :D

[papsarmy]

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

[Freek]

http://www.themanwhofellasleep.com/gossip.html


Thread over........... just kidding, but really it's all there.

"Osama Bin Laden is like the Tupac Shakur of the terrorist world. He's dead, but they keep re-releasing old statements of his."
:lol: :lol:

"I would like to shoot Mel Gibson's dad and then deny it ever happened!"
GOLD

"Everyone in London is on cocaine. I find it all faintly depressing"

"I spoke to God and he told me that he hates you."
:rofl: :lol:

[Wow Your Ugly]

http://www.themanwhofellasleep.com/gossip.html


Thread over........... just kidding, but really it's all there.

"Osama Bin Laden is like the Tupac Shakur of the terrorist world. He's dead, but they keep re-releasing old statements of his."
:lol: :lol:

"I would like to shoot Mel Gibson's dad and then deny it ever happened!"
GOLD

"Everyone in London is on cocaine. I find it all faintly depressing"

"I spoke to God and he told me that he hates you."
:rofl: :lol:


hahahaha lol those r great

[Frenze]

dont know if I made this up or heard it somewhere, but

For those that have tried and failed. We shall surpass and conquer.

[papsarmy]

Dutch saying:

I'd rather have a belly because of drinking beer then a humpback because of working hard. :beer: :devil:

(free translation by paps)

[landry38]

Sometimes I'm told that I have lost my mind.

I thought I couldn't lose what I never had.

[GMP]

Procrastination is like Masterbation. It feels good till you realize you're ****ing yourself.

[Wrecking Crew]

Its bloody freezing here at the moment, so I had this thought:

Is it better to be a man and hold your willie with cold hands when taking a pee, or be a woman and sit on a cold seat? :evil:

[papsarmy]

Unless the woman sits on her own hands.... :rofl:

[papsarmy]

A lot of men complain some other guy left with his wife.
There are more men who complain nobody left with their wifes.. :evil:

[Freek]

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed."
President Dwight D. Eisenhower
April 16, 1953

It's an interesting quote since he was a general and a republican.

[landry38]

Landry's Thought for Today

One final toast to Teh Gipper :beer:

[Wrecking Crew]

Wreck's Thought for the day

It is better to SPA with your woman than to SPAR with her. :evil:

Paps will love that one. hehehe

[Plancii]

SPARRING IS GOOD.... :cool:

[Freek]

Although money can't buy you happiness, it can buy a ton of stuff that looks, smells and feels just like happiness.

Train station is where the train stops; a bus station is where the bus stops; on my desk I have a work station.

Did you know that dolphins are so inteligent that within only a few weeks of captivity they can train americans to stand on the edge of the pool and throw them fish.

[KÖNIGSTIGER]

here's some rather random stuff i've found around the web so i decided to put it up.
-------------
Due to budget cuts the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

I have the body of a god. (unfortunately it's buddah)

A person who walks in another person's tracks leaves no footprints.

If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

The Golden Rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
When in doubt, mumble.

A rocket is a device used to deliver a payload to a specific destination.
Whether that be a planet, space, or [insert currently invaded country here].

In math, there are many different ways to look at things.
Unfortunately for me, many of those ways are wrong.

This one goes out to all you sports players: close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades.

The other line moves faster.

They *WANTED* to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation, but then they realized that spelt OIL.

I'm not racist. I have color television.

I'm not racist. I hate everyone equally.

JESUS LOVES YOU.
Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

[Freek]

"New reality shows slated for the fall season:
· The Candidate. George W. Bush and John Kerry spend a whole month together in a mansion filled with lobbyists. Who will get in bed with whom? Don't miss the sizzling behind the scenes deal-making. Each episode concludes with both candidates handing out long-stemmed roses to their favorite special interest groups.

· The Apprentice of The Dark Side. The evil Emperor must choose among several aspiring Sith Lords, all vying for the coveted job of "Darth Executive," in charge of overseeing construction of the Deathstar. Each round eliminates a contestant with the famous tagline "You're fired," and is then zapped with lightning and thrown off a ledge to his infernal doom.

· Aramaic Idol. The nation wide search for the next messiah. Come put your healing powers to the test and go head to head with other saviours and miracle workers for the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever amen. Produced by Mel Gibson.

· CNN Cribs: News Anchor Edition. Paula Zahn gives a sneak peek of her kickin' pad in the O.C., all West Coast flava y'all cuz the bitch is mad bangin' wit the bling bling, know what I'm saying? Holla! "

[papsarmy]

Wreck's Thought for the day

It is better to SPA with your woman than to SPAR with her. :evil:

Paps will love that one. hehehe

So does mrs paps.... :p :rofl:
Anyway. Me and mrs paps were last week in France. The young guys were jumping of off cliffs in the river Ardeche from 8-13 meters high and so was my son en even paps himself jumped from 12 meters down...
Mrs paps wanted to be a sport and jumped from 8 meters high, fell flat with her arm on the water and broke her upper right arm.
After a night full of pain she decided: "Until yesterday i was a cool, young mother. From now on i am a old bat..."

How could i disagree..... :evil:

[Wrecking Crew]

Aghh, the old bat and ball joke :evil:

[kyle]

I’ve been walking through your streets,
Where all you money’s earning,
Where all your biulding’s crying,
And clueless neckties working,
Revolving fake lawn houses,
Housing all your fears,
Desensitized by tv,
Overbearing advertising,
God of consumerism,
And all your crooked pictures,
Looking good, mirrorism,
Filtering information,
For the public eye,
Designed for profiteering,
Your neighboor, what a guy...

~System of a down

[papsarmy]

Though i like System of a Down a lot and the lyrics are great, i must say:

Your sig is better then that! :lol:

Especially the one with: "I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out"

:D

Seen on a ladies toilet:

"Objects in the mirror appear to be prettier then they are." :evil:

[kyle]

all of them are from thoughts on life, i put them in yesterday

[papsarmy]

well, you made a nice collection...... :cool:

Little joke:

A doctor is at home. The phone rings, he takes it and hears another man's voice: "Come over here collegue. We need a fourth man for playing poker."

He puts down the phone and says to his wife: "I have to leave."

She replies: "Oh, is it urgent?"

He: " Yes, there are already three other doctors looking at it." :evil:

[kyle]

lol, thats a good one, haver you seen Scary movie 3?

[papsarmy]

-A lot of people want to help you if it suits them. Sometimes its better to have someone help you when it suits you.

-The moment of victory is much too short to live just for that........ (Martina Navratilova if i remember coorectly)

-Explaining luggagerules to passengers can be very exhausting for stewardesses.
One day a lady wanted to board with a huge bag. De stewardess explained that it was too big to be taken as handluggage.
The woman explained that is was handluggage because it had wheels and a handle. The stewardess replied:

"My Honda also has wheels and a handle but that doesnt make it handluggage." :evil:

[Madcap_Magician]

If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to buy her friends?

If an atheist is in court, does he still have to swear on a Bible?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest of them have to drown, too?

If pro is the opposite of con, is the opposite of progress, Congress?

If the shortest distance between two points is a line, why does it take so long to wait in one?

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what the hell was yesterday?

If Walmart lowers prices everyday, then why isn't there anything free yet?

In a country that prizes free speech, why are my phone bills so high?

Does it bother anyone that doctors call what they do "practice"?

If a fork was made out of gold, would it still be silverware?

Just wondering...

[Statalyzer]

Nevah go a wizzin' on da 'lectric fens.

[Desolator12]

Nomatter how hard you try, no matter how much logic you use... there will always be some guy in the new Automated checkout lines at the grocery store who hates them, yet still uses them because he doesn't want to wait an hour in the regular ones (True story... started swearing too... worst part, there were 5-10 yr olds around....)

[Wow Your Ugly]

Nevah go a wizzin' on da 'lectric fens.

lmao :rofl:

[Freek]

Listen Vanessa Janice Tiffany Amber Thiessen. I'm gonna go ahead and give ya a little something I call "Perry's Perspective". 1. If the guy in front of me in the coffee shop can't decide what he wants in the 30 minutes it takes for him to get to the register, i should be allowed to kill him. 2. I'm fairly sure that if they took all the porn off the Internet, there'd only be 1 website left, and it would be called "Bring Back The Porn". 3rd, and most important, to be respected as a doctor, nay a man, you must me an ocean. You're born alone, you damn sure die alone, (looks over and speaks to a cadaver rolling by) isn't that right spike? My point is, and you may want to jot this down... only the weak need help.
-Dr Cox. (Scrubs)

[tallica52]

beer is bad for you, it kills your liver. weed is good for you, it kills your brain cells. :p

[Shinigami]

1. I am doomed to either be romantically nonexistenet, or pestered by girls on my nuts.

2. All threads made by me on forums are doomed to die a quick, painful death.

3. Being a teenager blows.

4. Life is too ****ing short-don't waste it reading crap like this.

5. Black is a good color for a shirt.

6. Depression deosn't equal being Gothic.

7. Skipping school is too damn easy.

8. Music is one of the most effective emotional mediums. Any who says otherwise is senseless.

9. Just because you are up, doesnt mean you are awake.

10. Marijuana doesnt get rid of problems, it creates them.

11. Trransferring illegal files on mIRC is extremely-frigging-time-consuming.

12. Boredom is a powerful motivator.


A little somethin' I posted on CGEN a ways back.

[Madcap_Magician]

1A. I am doomed to be romantically nonexistent or hopelessly entangled in a romance with a person and their severe emotional problems.

2. All threads made by me on forums are doomed to die a quick, painful death.

2A. All threads made by me on forums are doomed to die a quick, painful death, except my Everything EV Nova thread, which I'm really proud of.

3. Being a teenager blows.

3A. That it does. Only two more years! For me, anyway.

4. Life is too ****ing short-don't waste it reading crap like this.

4A. Why not? It's better than me wasting it in class.

5. Black is a good color for a shirt.

5A. I guess. I prefer ghost gray and Air Force blue.

6. Depression deosn't equal being Gothic.

6A. No, it just equals being depressed. Which also sucks.

7. Skipping school is too damn easy.

7A. Yeah, but once I realized I was paying $30,000 a year for the privilege...

8. Music is one of the most effective emotional mediums. Any who says otherwise is senseless.

8A. Or deaf.

9. Just because you are up, doesnt mean you are awake.

9A. Amen.

10. Marijuana doesnt get rid of problems, it creates them.

10A. But it also creates jobs down at the DEA.

11. Trransferring illegal files on mIRC is extremely-frigging-time-consuming.

11A. I wouldn't know.

12. Boredom is a powerful motivator.

12A. Yeah, like take how I'm responding to this.

[TQ]

"16 Things that took me 50 years to learn"

(My apologies if this has already been posted)

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe day-light-savings time.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. :evil:
The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
Your friends love you anyway.
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

[Shinigami]

1A. I am doomed to be romantically nonexistent or hopelessly entangled in a romance with a person and their severe emotional problems.

2. All threads made by me on forums are doomed to die a quick, painful death.

2A. All threads made by me on forums are doomed to die a quick, painful death, except my Everything EV Nova thread, which I'm really proud of.

3. Being a teenager blows.

3A. That it does. Only two more years! For me, anyway.

4. Life is too ****ing short-don't waste it reading crap like this.

4A. Why not? It's better than me wasting it in class.

5. Black is a good color for a shirt.

5A. I guess. I prefer ghost gray and Air Force blue.

6. Depression deosn't equal being Gothic.

6A. No, it just equals being depressed. Which also sucks.

7. Skipping school is too damn easy.

7A. Yeah, but once I realized I was paying $30,000 a year for the privilege...

8. Music is one of the most effective emotional mediums. Any who says otherwise is senseless.

8A. Or deaf.

9. Just because you are up, doesnt mean you are awake.

9A. Amen.

10. Marijuana doesnt get rid of problems, it creates them.

10A. But it also creates jobs down at the DEA.

11. Trransferring illegal files on mIRC is extremely-frigging-time-consuming.

11A. I wouldn't know.

12. Boredom is a powerful motivator.

12A. Yeah, like take how I'm responding to this.



You are the first person to make something intelligent of one of my rantts. I hate you. :p

[Madcap_Magician]

You are the first person to make something intelligent of one of my rantts. I hate you. :p

LOL.

Madcap's things that took him forever and a day to learn...

1.) Life sucks sometimes. It will end, so don't spaz too much.
2.) When you feel all alone and that no one cares about you, you're wrong. Even a bunch of anonymous people on forums.cncden.com care.
3.) Don't go racing after love, let it find you.
4.) Enjoy life. Take time to eat the roses.
5.) Being a teenager isn't as good or as bad as everyone says.
6.) Remember what's important. Your friends, your family, and yourself.
7.) Don't lose touch with reality. Don't bury yourself in your problems.
8.) Take time to let other people know you care. It really means the world to them.
9.) Make as many friends and as few enemies as possible.
10.) Do as thou wilt, but first do no harm.

[Wow Your Ugly]

It is better to have a bunch of good friends then one best friend

[sverkuijlen2000]

1.) Life sucks sometimes. It will end, so don't spaz too much.
1a Right now I'm not sure as to see that as a good or bad thing..

2.) When you feel all alone and that no one cares about you, you're wrong.
Even a bunch of anonymous people on forums.cncden.com care.
2a Name one.

3.) Don't go racing after love, let it find you.
3a Love seems to avoid me for some reason and everytime i bump into it it get the hell outa there.

4.) Enjoy life. Take time to eat the roses.
4a I dislike vegetables, what makes you think I like the taste of roses?

5.) Being a teenager isn't as good or as bad as everyone says.
5a I know, I sucks like no tomorrow. (but that also goes for life in general)

6.) Remember what's important. Your friends, your family, and yourself.
6a Actually if you ask me being loved is the most important... shame I have just lost that... :cry:

7.) Don't lose touch with reality. Don't bury yourself in your problems.
7a Maybe I will maybe I won't, either way I'm still stuck with em.

8.) Take time to let other people know you care. It really means the world to them.
8a my gf tought me this, I care about her but her love for me seems to have vanished into thin air in a matter of days...

9.) Make as many friends and as few enemies as possible.
9a actually one or two enemies are good cause they cause compitition, just make sure you pick the right guys to be enemies with.

10.) Do as thou wilt, but first do no harm.
10a Yep totally agree, other people will do it to you and you need all the time you can get to recover from that without spending time hurting others.

[Tofu]

This is what I learned from life.

Live Life
Enjoy Life
Hate Life
Experience Life

It's all good/bad

You deserve all you experience, it is karmic balancing.

[Desolator12]

1) The human race is a bunch of self-minded individuals who can't decide between a blue pen or a black pen.

2) Everybody knows the exact ramifications and consequence of nuclear weapons, yet they still want to use them.

3) If Absolute Power corrupst Absolutely, then how come we let people obtain said power, let them get corrupted, and then blame them for what's going wrong?

[landry38]

Landry's thought for the period of time before I decide to post in here again

One stands tallest when willing to stand corrected.

[landry38]

Landry's thought for today

Listen. It speaks volumes.

[Artificial Idiot]

Making Mountains out of molehills leaves you with nothing but giant moles. :shifty:

[kwark]

I have a alcohol problem:

I'm out of beer

[kwark]

Life is like beer: when we run out, we panic

[SirSnake]

beer! now this reminds me.

i heard this from my philosopy teacher, so i dunno if anyone else has said it, but ill repeat it here.


A philosopy teacher was having the first lesson of the year with his class, and he decided to show a practical approach to deminstrating certain ideas.

When all the class are arrived, he takes a glass jar out, and says 'this glass jar is the representation of your life' and proceeds to put big stones in it.
he asks the class 'what do these represent?'

no-one answered, so he said 'they represent the large things in your life, a wedding, a birth, moving house and so on'
he asked the class, 'now, is this jar full?'
and they replied 'no!'

he then took some smaller pebbles and slid them inbetween the rocks, and asked, 'what do these represent?'
one student answered 'the small things in life?'
he said 'exactly! the small things, buying a new phone, passing a driving test, and what have you'

he then asked the class, 'is the jar full now?'
there were less gaps, but still there were some, so the class still said 'no!'

so he took some really small stones and threw them in, and said 'these represent the routine things of your life, they are everywhere, and sometimes you dont even realise they are there at all'.
'is it full now?'

some slight murmruing, some think yes, some think no, so he says 'very well!'
and takes out sand, and pours it into the rest of the glass, filling the gaps
'in your life, these represent all the tiny things you do, like tying your laces to remembering how to talk, they are everywhere, they are most of your life!'

and he asks, 'is it full now?' and the class all nod 'yes!'

but the teacher shakes his head, 'no it isnt!' and he takes our some beer and pours it into the glass, entirely filling the glass up to the rim.
he asks, 'so what does this represent?'
the class think for a while, some attempts at 'really really small things?' are given, but he shakes his head.
eventually the class give in and ask what it represents.


the teacher smiles and says 'no matter how full your life, no matter what you've done, there is always room in life for beer!'


now theres a paps style thought on life!
:D :D

[Alisaura]

1. Never pee onto an electric fence.

2. If you can't be bothered reading 21 pages of other people's Thoughts on Life, just skip to the end and make a wee joke. The teenage boys will giggle. ;)
:angel:

[Madcap_Magician]

LOL. Hey Alisaura, I tried that once. It hurts. :p

Shut up. I was ten. :|

[Statalyzer]

1. Never pee onto an electric fence.

You thought-on-life-stealer, I posted that on the previous page. :flame:

And what would a girl know about peeing on fences? :uhh: :p

[Madcap_Magician]

You thought-on-life-stealer, I posted that on the previous page. :flame:

And what would a girl know about peeing on fences? :uhh: :p

Don't ask... she'd tell us, and I'm sure I don't want to know... :wtf:

[Alisaura]

Sorry Mr Statalyser, I did say that I couldn't be bothered reading all the previous pages... :p

I've never peed on a fence myself, but I knew a few guys at school who told stories about it... *winces* Being a girl is good like that.

I could, however, tell you about peeing on ant nests or into spider holes.... :zip:

You thought-on-life-stealer, I posted that on the previous page. :flame:

And what would a girl know about peeing on fences? :uhh: :p

[Wow Your Ugly]

Never call a woman fat. I did it once and got slapped

[Alisaura]

I would have thought that was common sense... wouldn't that be true for calling men fat too?



Never call a woman fat. I did it once and got slapped

[Wow Your Ugly]

I would have thought that was common sense... wouldn't that be true for calling men fat too?


This girl just turned me down when I asked her out

[Statalyzer]

Society has a double standard:

Guys - don't call them fat

Girls - don't bring up weight at all

I could, however, tell you about peeing on ant nests or into spider holes....

'twould be very interesting... :wired:

[papsarmy]

beer! now this reminds me.

......................

now theres a paps style thought on life!
:D :D

Indeed!!! :beer:

[Madcap_Magician]

Indeed!!! :beer:

Figures it takes beer to get you to post... :p

[landry38]

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

-Winston Churchill

[Malebranche]

"The difference between a good man and a bad one is the choice of cause." - William James

Ren - Havoc - "Conflict of interests? No, I have an interest in conflict."

"He who controls the past, commands the future. He who commands the future, conquers the past."
Kane

"The people only believe what the media tells them to believe, and I tell the media what to believe."
Kane

"The systems are impenetrable. There are no weak points. The technology is without flaw. The Human element, as always, is riddled with imperfection."
CABAL

Got this in the Waste Dump:
Murphy's combat laws(Courtisey of the half life: opposing force manual)
1.You are not a supeman.
2.If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
3.Don't look conspicuous-it draws fire.
4.When in doubt, empty your magazine.
5.Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.
6.Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
7.If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
8.Now plan survives the first contact intact.
9.All 5 second fuses burn down in 3 seconds.
10.try to look unimpotant because the bad guys may be low on ammo.
11.If you are forward of your position , the artillary will fall short.
12.The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
13.The important things are always simple.
14.The simple things are always hard.
15.The easy way is always mined.
16.If you are short of everything except for enemy, you are in combat.
17.When you have secured the area don't forget to tell the enemy.
18.Incoming fire has the right of war.
19.Freindly fire isn't.
20.If the enemy is in range-SO ARE YOU!
21.No combat ready unit has every passed inspection.
22.Things that must be together to work usualy can't be shipped together.
23.Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperatly.
24.Anything you do can get you shot-including doing nothing.
25.Tracers work both way.
26.The only thing more accurat than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
27.Make it though for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
28.If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you'll have more than you fair share of objectives to take.
29.When both side are cinvinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
30.Professional soldiers are predictable but the world is full of amateurs.
31.Never trust a grunt.(I added this one.)
32.Murphy was a grunt.

[papsarmy]

60% of the woman would rather marry a rich guy then a handsome guy.

I knew my wife fell for me. And my bankaccount. :moonie:

[Malebranche]

Don't have much hope. You'll be less deceived.

[papsarmy]

A wise man knows his place....... :D

[landry38]

Never hesitate to say "I love you" to your family, and the people you love. You never know when your last chance will be.

[Madcap_Magician]

Never hesitate to say "I love you" to your family, and the people you love. You never know when your last chance will be.

No kidding... I would know. :dismay: :( :cry: :ashamed:

SJY- 8 Aug. 86- 15 Jan. 04.

[Statalyzer]

I'll start with what was in my previous sig:
Choose heaven for the weather; Hell for the company.

:eek: I'd rather take heaven for the company. Getting arseraped by lifelong criminals isn't my idea of fun in the afterlife.

[Malebranche]

"It's better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven."

[Statalyzer]

So you'd rather be Satan than be a saint?

[Malebranche]

It's a point of view: the biggest of the bads or the smallest of the goods.

[Wrecking Crew]

Thought for the day

"When asked if I liked Bush I replied, I like Bush but I prefer shaved"

:evil:

[Nunee]

Ouch nu.

[tagbert]

-Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-The police. There's been a terrible accident.

[Wow Your Ugly]

Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining someones life definitely wont make you any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you. :wired:

[papsarmy]

Saying " wow you're ugly" won't make you any prettier.. :p not even 673 times...

[Wow Your Ugly]

Saying " wow you're ugly" won't make you any prettier.. :p not even 673 times...
Hey! That was very clever of you.

[papsarmy]

Hey! That was very clever of you.

I am not half as good as Wreck.... :evil:

[Freek]

"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."

There were three people on an airplane. One was Thomas Jefferson. One was George Bush. And the last was Bill Clinton. They opened up the airplane door and Thomas Jefferson threw out a 100 dollar bill and said "I just saved a family!" George Bush looked at Jefferson and then threw out 2 100 dollar bills. He then said, "I just saved TWO families!" Bill Clinton looked at Thomas Jefferson then at George. He sighed and pushed George Bush off the plane and said "I just saved the world!"

[Statalyzer]

1st half of your post-best thought on life ever.

2nd half of your post-goes in TWD not TOL.

[Amarant52]

uhh one thing i live by that my dad told me once.. If people dont like you..F*** them. You can always find new friends.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crissis, maintain their neutrality- Dante

WHen in doubt call in an airstrike :D
Incoming fire has right of way.

ahhh and well as Al Bundy once said "Let's Rock"

[Madcap_Magician]

LOL.

OK, now for an anti-Democrat one.

Bill Clinton was coming in to a first grade class as a guest teacher for the day. He says, "OK children, today we are going to learn the meaning of some words. Can anyone tell me what a 'tragedy' is?"

So a girl in the first row raises her hand and says "A tragedy would be if a bunch of kids were in a bus, and the bus drove off a cliff."

Bill Clinton says, "No, that would be 'A great loss'."

Another kid in the middle raises his hand and says "Well, would it be a tragedy if Joey and I were mowing the lawn, and Joey slipped and fell and cut off his hand in the lawnmower?"

Bill Clinton says, "No, that would be an 'accident'. Can anyone else tell me what a tragedy is?"

Stevie in the back row raises his hand. "Uh, would a tragedy be if President Clinton and his wife were in an airplane, and a missile came out of nowhere and killed them?"

Bill Clinton says, "YES YES, that's a tragedy! Now, can you tell me why that's a tragedy?"

Stevie thinks for a second, then he proudly says, "Because it wasn't a great loss, and I don't think it was an accident!?"

[Shinigami]

Old ****.





:p

[papsarmy]

If marriages were proposed in the same way as divorces are there would be less divorces...

(OK, i made this one up myself. Its worth to think over i suppose....)

[Wow Your Ugly]

So then it would be something like...

Man: *gets on one knee* Will you... Divorce me?
Woman: *Starts crying in happiness* Oh yes! I thought you would never ask!

*the two go hug and divorce each other*

[papsarmy]

Or...

Man: "You lousy b**ch, you worthless piece of s**t, do you wanna marry me for crying out loud???"

:evil:

[Statalyzer]

So then it would be something like...

Man: *gets on one knee* Will you... Divorce me?
Woman: *Starts crying in happiness* Oh yes! I thought you would never ask!

*the two go hug and divorce each other*

No, that would be a divorce being proposed like a marriage.

Man: "You lousy b**ch, you worthless piece of s**t, do you wanna marry me for crying out loud???"

Yes, that would be a marriage being proposed like a divorce.

[Wrecking Crew]

Wreck's thought for today

"Bribes? Of course there were bribes. That has always been the case since Eve promised Adam a good time if he bit the apple."

:evil:

[Amarant52]

its better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6

[Nunee]

No-ones ever figured out why NCEA Exams are so full of crap nu

[papsarmy]

its better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6


good one!

A saying in Holland:

A lot of cows have forgotten they were calfs one day.....

(Talking about grumpy old people complaining about youngsters...)

[wargrudge]

Always set your standards low, so the chances of failing are slim.

[Wow Your Ugly]

Before hating someone, walk and mile in their shoes, and then you will be a mile away and have their shoes.

[lisa]

(hope this is the right thread now,sorry about the other one)



Marriage Is...

A best man's speech should be like a mini-skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the bare essentials.

A classified ad which read "Wife Wanted" received hundreds of responses, all from men saying "You can have mine."

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

A husband expects his wife to be perfect... and to understand why he's not.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.

A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

A son asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son. I'm still paying for it."

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A toast to the newlyweds: May your only ups and downs be between the sheets.

A wedding ring is like a tourniquet; it cuts off your circulation.

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." The friend asked, "And what was he before you married him?" The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire."

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.

As she hears the wedding march, three things are foremost in a bride's mind: aisle, altar, hymn. [I'll alter him!]

Bachelor: A guy who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.

Confucius say man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married... and then it was too late.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

I was engaged myself once, to a contortionist. But she broke it off.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay full attention to what you have to say, talk in your sleep.

If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

In marriage, the bride gets a shower; but for the groom, it's curtains!

It doesn't matter how often a husband changes his job; he still ends up with the same boss.

It's a give-and-take marriage. He gives and she takes.

Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.

Man is incomplete until he is married. After that he is finished.

Man: Rules the roost. Woman: Rules the rooster.

Marriage is a great institution; but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is an institution in which the man loses his Bachelor's degree and the woman gets her Master's.

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo....

Marriage is grand... and divorce is about 10 grand.

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Marriage is the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

Marry not a tennis player, for love means nothing to them.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, and so made sure that she would stay, in better spirits night and day.

My wife ran off with my best friend last week. Gosh, I miss him!

My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.

My wife's cooking is so bad that we pray after we eat.

She offered her honor, he honored her offer, and all night he was on her and off her.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

Some mornings I wake up grouchy... and some mornings I just let her sleep.

Thanks preacher for allowing me to have 16 wives: 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better, 4 worse!

The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.

The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.

The three stages of sex in marriage: tri-weekly; try-weekly; try-weakly

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Why did the polygamist cross the aisle? To get to the other bride.

Wife says, "Honey, I've had enough of worse; let's try better for a while!"

Good And Great Friends

A good friend will bail you out of jail.

A great friend will be in the cell next to you saying,"Damn, that was fun!"

[Wrecking Crew]

Welcome to my world lisa :lol:

Just a few observations:


1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in
your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men:

The ones that learn by reading.

The few who learn by observation.

The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for
themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and
then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started
roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.


ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or
leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have
anything to laugh at when you are old.

:evil: