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Artificial Idiot
04-07-2004, 03:04 PM
The Trap


Part One: Jimmy Maclean, A man of mixed emotion.


"Night Doris." Said Jimmy Maclean as he left his work place. Doris was the cleaner of the multi-story office. He'd spent a good twenty minutes speaking to the woman, the rest of the bastard cleaning staff just didn't want to know. Anti-social gits. The security light outside the building flashed on as he left the building. He'd never seen the point in those things, especially when they were put on people's houses! I mean, all they really do is provide light for the would-be thief. And Jimmy was no stranger to thieves, his house would probably have been broken into again when he got home. Jimmy worked nights, and often came home to find a window smashed or a door broken. His fiancee waiting on the doorstep to yell at him. His love life was also a shambles, when the misses wasn't yelling at him, she was screaming, nagging, moaning or staring in a disapproving manner in his general direction. He couldn't remember how many times she had said she was leaving him, nor the number of times he had thought "Good riddance". She actually left once too, but came crawling back when she ran out of money. Typical.
However, life wasn't all that bad. He loved his job. In fact, his work place was like hell on Earth compared to his squalid living conditions. Now, he'd studied British History at School, and knew all about Rowntree and the poverty line, and when he was young and ignorant, he had even believed it had made a difference. Although, looking at his neck of the woods... well, it was a lot like 1960's Britain, only with sewers and running water. But then, he guessed that was a plus. You had to look on the bright side of these things, otherwise you just drive yourself into despair. Anyway, his job. It was simple office work, a monkey could probably do his job for him. And if Jimmy could afford to buy a monkey, that might not be such a bad idea. However, the general atmosphere of the office was, well unlike any other place Jimmy had ever seen. It was the only place he felt safe, and the women were very nice on the eyes. Which was always a plus. His boss was somewhat eccentric, but he was a decent and fair man. He never seemed angry or stressed and was almost, always chatting with the workers. But unfortunately, it was time to go.
He walked across the hard, grey concrete of the car park. It was damp, with large puddles forming where the road had cracked. He'd missed the rain, what a pity. Jimmy liked walking in the rain, and didn't really see why people ran away from it or tried to protect themselves from it. after all, it is only water. You drink it, bathe in it, the average adult Human is about 60% water. Or was that 70%? He couldn't remember for the life of him. Acid rain was a completely different story, but that was generally something you only read about in books and saw on the lunchtime news. It wasn't long until Jimmy found his car, he had, after all, had the same parking space for a year. Except that one day when the new secretary had used it.He fumbled for his keys, pulling out his familiar Garfield key-ring. It was a gift from an old school friend of his, and he'd kept it since.

"Those were the days" He muttered to himself, in a moment of distant reflection.

He unlocked his car. He used the key, he couldn't afford one of these fancy things with their la-de-da electrical locking systems, or whatever you called them. Yet, his little Ford was good enough for him. He didn't know the make, didn't care either. Cars were not his thing, he could drive one... barely, but that was all. He opened the door, getting a wet hand from the handle. He had seen people make a big deal of this, as if the water was poison on their skin... Jimmy didn't understand them. He wiped the excess water on his jacket then got in. For some reason, a shiver went up and down his spine. As if something wasn't quite right. Which was odd, as he had got in and out of this car for so many years now, it was practically his batmobile. He shrugged off the feeling, blaming it on the cold, even though it had been a moderately warm day today.
He checked the clock, it read twenty past ten. The night was young. He weighed up his options for a moment. Let's see, go home and face the dragon woman who made Nazi Germany look like a minor annoyance, or got to the pub and get pissed out of his head. On the one hand, he'd get killed for coming in late, on the other hand he'd get killed for coming in late and drunk. He decided he probably wouldn't feel the pain if he was drunk, so to the the pub it was!
He started the car, it choked it's self to life. In doing so, he also sent a small piece of brownish-yellow paper fluttering to the floor. It looked as if it had been hastily ripped from a larger piece. It had but on word written upon it in blood red ink...


Vengance.

Wesforce
04-07-2004, 03:16 PM
Ooh... has promise!

Typically, it came too late for the story comp, but meh.

Bean
04-07-2004, 08:01 PM
I like it, very good *applause*

Apache_Longbow
04-07-2004, 08:18 PM
Very nicely done :D I'm looking forward to the next part.

Phyre
04-07-2004, 08:21 PM
cool

Artificial Idiot
04-10-2004, 06:08 PM
Part Two: The trigger is set.

"Yer cannae let 'er dictate yer life, sunnah Jim." Said Blind Pete. Or at least, that's what his drunken rambling had sounded like. It didn't help that his breath was almost knocking Jimmy off his bar stool. "Yer giv' 'er an inch, lad, an' she'll take ten miles she will! Women, all the same lad, all the same!"

Jimmy looked around the pub. It was typical really. A small bar with a cloud of smoke hanging above it in a menacing manner, the squeaky little mocking theme tunes of the slot machine based on the latest reality TV series or hit game show humming away in the corner. Usually some overweight, larger guzzling lout being egged on by his mates around it. There was also the dartboard that was never, ever used, several small tables and chairs around the bar and of course, the stained red curtains.

He turned back to Blind Pete, who wasn't actually blind. It was just an unwritten law that there had to be somebody "like that". Like a midget called "Big Ron", it made no sense, but it sounded right. As for blind Pete, he actually had very good sight. Especially, Jimmy had noted, around attractive young women. Jimmy had to admire him for this, being eighty-two and still taking an interest. Although, Pete hadn't made the mistake of getting married... that probably explained it all. Neither had Jimmy really, although it sure felt like it at times.

He looked from the old man, who was now talking about how "The German's were coming back for us one day! All this EU nonsense is just a cover!", a topic Jimmy had heard far too many times. Although, usually he was just too drunk to care, But not tonight. He looked down at his pint, usually this would be at least his third, but tonight it was his first. He just didn't feel like drinking.

"Y'all right hun?" Said Sarah, the barmaid, as he passed his pint to Pete. He took it without argument... probably too off his head to realise where it came from "Y'all lookin' awfully down."

"Things could be worse." Jimmy muttered, looking into the women's eyes. Not the place he usually looked, but he felt compelled too. He'd loved Sarah almost all his life, he'd known her from school. And yet, only at this moment did he notice how beautiful she really was. He just wanted to get lost in those deep, warm eyes. But alas, he'd lost his chance with Sarah long ago. And regretted it ever since. He could have been so much happier with her... or could he? Would he have just dragged her down too? It didn't matter now. It was all in the past... a distant memory.

"Trouble wit' the misses, huh?" She commented absently, while cleaning a glass. It was getting late, and there were very few customers now. Giving the pub a very eerie feel.

"Is it that obvious?" Jimmy replied. It was as if his love life was common knowledge.

"Pretty much hun'. Wanders in this joint like a dog kicked in the face." She put down the glass and returned his stare. He hadn't noticed it before, but she seemed troubled. "Jim... d'ya think it coulda worked out.. between us an' all?"

Jimmy was a little taken a-back. In all the years since they had "gone their separate ways", Sarah had never spoken of it. She had refused to speak to him for a month, but afterwards... nothing. He didn't know what to say, it was all coming back. He could barely look at her. It was time to leave.

"I should be going..." He said in a low voice, trying to make as little eye contact as possible. "It's getting late."

"Jim!" She yelled desperately, trying to grab hold of his arm. He pulled it away from her and headed toward the exit.

Once outside, Jimmy felt as if he wanted to break down and cry. Right here, in the street. He could have at least heard her out, at least told her the truth! Who knows, maybe they could have talked it though, like they should have done long ago. Maybe they could have even made a fresh start of it all, moved away. Far away. He didn't know where, and didn't care. And while he loved work, he'd give it all up for her. If only he wasn't so stupid!

He sighed and pulled himself together. He was being silly. I mean, why would Sarah ever want him? She was smart, beautiful, charming... what could he ever offer a person like that but misery and grief? Besides, where would they go? What would they do for money? With his partner nibbling away at his pay check, Jimmy had very little money to spare. He doubted Sarah earned that much either. He was about to condemn himself as a complete idiot for even thinking such things, but something disrupted his train of thoughts. Something long, hard and blunt connecting with the back of his head. He fell to the floor as it landed, right on target, for a second time. He could feel the blood running down his head, as he heard the shuffling of footsteps around him. He tried to get up, but the object was now held at the back of his neck, A human putting all his body weight on it.

"What are you waiting for?" Yelled a gruff voice frantically "Kick the **** out of the mother****er and let's get out of here!"

Jimmy felt another man come into play. And unfortunately, he was wearing steel-toed boots. He kicked Jimmy repeatedly, the pain running up and down his tried, but luckily not intoxicated body. He said luck as, if intoxicated, he may feel less pain but he also may have tried to fight back. Which could lead to nothing but trouble.So he lay, face down, thinking his ribs were going to snap under the pressure. He could now see the boot hurtling towards his face from the corner of his eye. He closed them as a reaction, but nothing happened.

"OI! You! What do ya think ya doing?" He heard another voice bellow from afar. "Get outta here! Ya little bastards!"

"We've been rumbled! Move! Move!" Yelled the gruff voice again. He heard the booted man scramble away, and as soon as he had got off Jimmy's back, the other man followed.

"You alright Jimmy?" Said the voice of his saviour as it came closer. Jimmy recognised it instantly, it was Steve, a security guard from work.

"Yeah.. yeah..." Said Jimmy, a little dazed, as he stumbled to his feet. "I don't know what happened... one minute I was walking out the bar, the next they jumped me an... Oh no! No! No! No!"

He'd just spotted his car. His trusty little Ford. Although, you'd hardly recognise it as road worthy now. The windows were smashed, the wheels were completely missing, bar the one, which was slashed. The contents from the back seat had been thrown all over the road, including his lucky furry dice and worst of all, the bonnet had been thrown open. Now, as previously stated, Jimmy knew very little about cars,but the engine did not look good. Several wires had been roughly cut with a knife but that was the least of the damage. There were also crude words such as "Tosser" written all over the body in red spray paint.It didn't look good.

"My goodness! Jim!" He turned around. It was Sarah, emerging from the pub. "I came to see what all the racket was about, are... y'all aright, darlin'?"

"Some punks decided to try and beat the crap outta him." Explained Steve. "I put a stop to the beggars, but the car looks like it's beyond repair."

"Oh, that's terrible!" Exclaimed Sarah, throwing her arms around Jimmy. He had to admit, just the woman's warm touch made him feel so much better. "Are y'all hurt? Did they break anything?"

"Nah, nah... I'm fine. Honest." He said, returning her embrace, wishing he'd never have to leave it. "Just a bit rough around the edges, that's all." They waited in silence for a few moments, until Jimmy couldn't take it any more. It was all too dreamlike for him. "Well, I guess I'd better start walking home..."

"Now don't y'all be silly! Catch a ride with me." Jimmy wanted to refuse, he felt that no good could come of it. Especially when his partner saw him pulling up in front of the house with another woman! He'd never hear the end of it. But, when he looked into those eyes... how could he refuse her? Especially after all the pain he had already put her though. He murmured an agreement. "Great! Jus' let me finish my shift, an' we'll be off!"

She gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek and vanished back into the bar. Leaving Jimmy to say his "Good night's" to Steve and wait anxiously on the street corner. Well, at least some good has come out of tonight. he thought. I should get beat up more often!

Bean
04-13-2004, 01:56 PM
I think I'll try getting beat up now, maybe some chick will drive me home afterwords

Great Story [still] AI, keep it up!

Artificial Idiot
04-13-2004, 02:07 PM
Yeah, I will write more eventually. Isn't it funny how you can have a story planned from start to finish, and yet can't be bothered to write it up when the time comes? :scared:

Wesforce
04-13-2004, 03:31 PM
Believe me, I KNOW that :cry:

Times on his back: 1 and counting :color1:

Artificial Idiot
04-13-2004, 03:45 PM
He was actually on his front, but I'll give you that :p

Toxic10x
04-14-2004, 09:46 AM
looking good aies :) such inrigue! What will become of our intrepid protagonist?

Wesforce
04-14-2004, 01:39 PM
Nothing good, I'll wager :scared:

But entertaining :evil:

Artificial Idiot
04-24-2004, 04:44 AM
Just thought I'd drop in and notify you guys as what is actually happening here.

I basically have the whole thing planned out, but I can't seem to bring myself around to write it. As it's depressing me :p

So this is sort of on hold until I can actually put finger to keyboard and produce something, but until then, Do not panic. I'm just feeling a bit brain dead recently.

Wesforce
04-24-2004, 07:13 AM
We all know the feeling...

I blame this bloody stupid summer weather.

Artificial Idiot
04-24-2004, 09:32 AM
I might start something that is easier for me to write. So watch this space ;)

Wesforce
05-02-2004, 07:49 PM
Still watching... Just thought I'd let you know :color1:

Blue Aurora
05-25-2004, 05:41 AM
Nice work AI...I may be a bit underaged for this kind of stuff though. (I'm 12) :beer: