The Man Who Broke Her Heart (Poem #2)

[Riff]

The Man Who Broke Her Heart

She thought she was in love with him...

But he decieved her and led her on

This man broke her heart into a million pieces

He led a double life, with one girl one day and went onto another the next

Through this woman's eyes, she thought she had the perfect one

With a poison tipped arrow of hatred in her heart, she could feel death pull her apart

She succeeded him with hatred and sandess, ignoring the man as if he didn't exist

Yet this man went out with another he loved more

Now this women left, wanders the universe in search of that special someone that she will love and cherish with all the passion of her fiery heart

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This is another poem I wrote, I hope you enjoy reading it!

Put your input if you would like. :D

:)

[VO]

There doesn't appear to be much rhytm. Try reading it. It doesn't sound like poetry.

[Riff]

Not all poetry has rhythm in it.

This one has a story behind it, a not so good story.

But in all, I really like it cause it has meaning to it.

[Master Chris]

From memory; Poems have rhythm and Prose does not, correct?

[VO]

From memory; Poems have rhythm and Prose does not, correct?

That's the impression I had, too. This seems more like a collection of phrases.

[Riff]

Master Chris you are correct, I apologize for my mistake.

I mostly write free verse and I hardly ever rhyme.

This poem came straight off of feelings between a girl and guy I know that broke up.

The man did a very terrible thing, and the girl didn't have a clue to as what was going on. This was because the man was secretly seeing another girl and kept lying to her and the women he was currently going out with.

So when the girl found out, she was devastated and in shock.

That is why the poem may have been confusing.

[HawkEye1102002]

If this was called "The woman who broke his heart" and re-aranged a few words here and there, that will reflect a part of my life that happend a long time ago :(

Anyway, that was beautifully done, well done.

[Toxic10x]

I too would reccomend a bit of a restructure to try to get soime rythm in there. While it's not 100% necessary it does help the ideas flow more smoothly.