n00bie51
08-24-2004, 07:00 AM
This is a fan-fiction based off of Tiberian Sun. It's supposed to be funny or stuff. Oh, well.
Albert was a man who was extremely rude, without discipline, and no manners.
He was a GDI engineer.
He always found himself drunk shouting, "턔하밍극!"
One time he got really drunk.
He played Hide-and-Go-Seek with himself in the Hammerfest Base.
He found a shiny crystal, a big green shiny crystal.
He thought it was rock candy and started licking it. :evil:
After a period of time........
He woke up next morning.
On his bunk bed.
He went to the bathroom...
And looked in the mirror.
His tongue was green. :drool:
He was too distracted to notice it.
So he drank s'more beer. :beer:
And s'more. :beer:
And s'more. :beer:
And s'more. :beer:
This s'more beer caused him to get reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy drunk.
He played "Scavenger Hunt" in the War Factory.
He was about to enter a room that said,
"Warning: Disrupter crystal study ahead.
Careful when handling contents.
Whatever you do, don't hit it with anything."
Albert said, "Who doesn't love Easter Eggs?" :D
He found some crystals.
He thought it was cereal.
He took out a spoon in his pocket.
And was about to eat the crystals.
When he realized he forgot how to use a spoon.
So he started banging the crystals with his spoon. ;)
And when he did.
He got a tickling vibration in his body.
And he did it again. :color1:
And again. :color2:
And again. :color3:
He eventually got out his .357 Desert Eagle.
He began to bang the crystals with his gun.
He started shooting it.
The crystals made intense vibrations.
He took a crowbar.
And started whacking the crystals.
Whack. Went the crowbar.
Buzz. Went the crystals.
Whack.
Buzz.
Whack.
Buzz.
Whack.
Buzz.
Albert eventually got tired of it.
He instead began to take the crystals.
And put 'em in his pockets.
Everytime he walked.
The ground shook.
Albert then started to run across the Hammerfest base.
The base's concrete walls were weakening.
They crumbled.
The base defenses went down.
Power cords were broken.
The gates were open.
Nod invaded.
They had planned a full-scale attack.
The base was already destroyed.
And so Nod took control of it.
And the crystals fell out of Albert's pocket.
And Albert fell in a hole.
Nod found the crystals.
And then a while later.
GDI forces kicked Nod's ass.
And then Albert got drunk again.
And began to drive a Wolverine.
He was going to the Nod trainstation.
To see his mother in Iowa.
So the Nod forces took fire upon the Wolverine.
And Albert got out of it.
And ran into the train.
And found crystals.
And he decided to keep buzzing them for the rest of the trip.
All of a sudden.
The train exploded from a pair of GDI orcas.
The End.
Albert was a man who was extremely rude, without discipline, and no manners.
He was a GDI engineer.
He always found himself drunk shouting, "턔하밍극!"
One time he got really drunk.
He played Hide-and-Go-Seek with himself in the Hammerfest Base.
He found a shiny crystal, a big green shiny crystal.
He thought it was rock candy and started licking it. :evil:
After a period of time........
He woke up next morning.
On his bunk bed.
He went to the bathroom...
And looked in the mirror.
His tongue was green. :drool:
He was too distracted to notice it.
So he drank s'more beer. :beer:
And s'more. :beer:
And s'more. :beer:
And s'more. :beer:
This s'more beer caused him to get reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy drunk.
He played "Scavenger Hunt" in the War Factory.
He was about to enter a room that said,
"Warning: Disrupter crystal study ahead.
Careful when handling contents.
Whatever you do, don't hit it with anything."
Albert said, "Who doesn't love Easter Eggs?" :D
He found some crystals.
He thought it was cereal.
He took out a spoon in his pocket.
And was about to eat the crystals.
When he realized he forgot how to use a spoon.
So he started banging the crystals with his spoon. ;)
And when he did.
He got a tickling vibration in his body.
And he did it again. :color1:
And again. :color2:
And again. :color3:
He eventually got out his .357 Desert Eagle.
He began to bang the crystals with his gun.
He started shooting it.
The crystals made intense vibrations.
He took a crowbar.
And started whacking the crystals.
Whack. Went the crowbar.
Buzz. Went the crystals.
Whack.
Buzz.
Whack.
Buzz.
Whack.
Buzz.
Albert eventually got tired of it.
He instead began to take the crystals.
And put 'em in his pockets.
Everytime he walked.
The ground shook.
Albert then started to run across the Hammerfest base.
The base's concrete walls were weakening.
They crumbled.
The base defenses went down.
Power cords were broken.
The gates were open.
Nod invaded.
They had planned a full-scale attack.
The base was already destroyed.
And so Nod took control of it.
And the crystals fell out of Albert's pocket.
And Albert fell in a hole.
Nod found the crystals.
And then a while later.
GDI forces kicked Nod's ass.
And then Albert got drunk again.
And began to drive a Wolverine.
He was going to the Nod trainstation.
To see his mother in Iowa.
So the Nod forces took fire upon the Wolverine.
And Albert got out of it.
And ran into the train.
And found crystals.
And he decided to keep buzzing them for the rest of the trip.
All of a sudden.
The train exploded from a pair of GDI orcas.
The End.